I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
