Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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