I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
