so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize