i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
