You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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