coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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