watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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