So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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