This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
zippers are such a cool invention
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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