I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
