You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
