Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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