Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize