eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
