Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
