I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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