im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
