didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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