and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
