KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
