Don't make out with my wife yet
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
