Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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