I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
