I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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