Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
