Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
