Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
