JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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