She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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