i would punch a child for taco bell
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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