i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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