Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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