overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize