Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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