Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
