Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
