Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
