Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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