Umm I'm too high to move.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
