I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
