Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
