im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
