I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dicks are not precious.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
