ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
