so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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