so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
