that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
