It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
