I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize