Your dad touched me again.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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