That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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