it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
