Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
