Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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