Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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