I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
