Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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