So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
