is your mom at the bar?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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